Waldorf: Do we have time to go to the bathroom before the next show?
Statler: We can’t, you old fool! We’re bolted to the seats!
from The Muppet Show
I blame two things for this crazy idea. One is the annual EduClaytion March Movie Madness tournament, in which I annually get my ass kicked in the first round the way Southwest Missouri might playing Kentucky. The other, of course, is my enduring love of Ed Wood and Mystery Science 3000-style cheesy movies. I’m not talking merely average or passable movies. These are the cheesy ones; the ones from which the odor of Limburger is palpable. They’re also the kinds of movies I can watch whenever I’ve had a bad day at work, a nasty cold, or a fight with my family. In short, they’re guilty pleasures. The Whitman chocolate samplers of filmdom.
“So what?” you ask. “Practically everybody…
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